So what happens when mommy gets a bug up her @$$ about the absolute train wreck that is our house 15 minutes after the cleaning lady comes (yes, I have one of those once a week – don’t be a h8ter)?! Mommy starts aiming for every corner of the house and tries to remove all the excess sh*t that she didn’t notice in the pre-holiday clean up that happened just four months ago.
And, for sh*ts and giggles, here’s what mommy learned:
Until my children leave this nest and I take away my husband’s amazon password, there will be no end to the amount of sh*t that makes its way into our house and that I have to then extract from our house! And no, they aren’t the only ones to blame, I have my fair share of nonsense I’ve brought into this house, it was just funnier to pick on them first.
And, while we’re picking on things, let’s start with mom jeans:
Here’s a benefit of all of my mommy Facebook green screen shenanigans – taking a lot of photos and realizing that those cute blingy jeans that I got from that “mom store” that shall remain nameless, make my @$$ look like a mom @$$ – and don’t any of you dare tell me that my saggy @$$ doesn’t look horrible – there’s a reason my friend Crissy’s @$$ is covered up. She knows what the back side can look like when not well attended to.
Guess what the first thing was in the bag of give-away clothes?!
Here’s what I’ve learned about how your spring cleaning can lead to a spring break – some days it’s a psychotic break and other days it’s a break from the chaos; whichever it is depends on how the cleaning goes:
2. When you take photos with your friend and you do quick changes in your bedroom – CLOSE THE CLOSET DOOR. For if you do not, she may call you the next day and tell you, I MUST clean that sh*t up for you. Of course, this was not at all bad. My closet went from THIS:
3. If you really want to freak your husband out, start folding his underwear and undershirts into little balls. The man is smart, he has not said one word about the fact that his underwear used to look like it had been put away by one of his fraternity brothers and now it looks like some anal retentive Martha Stewart has possessed his underwear drawer. He’s not sure what’s going on, he’s just waiting for the other sock to fall!
4. The most important lesson – Do not start this “cleaning” process unless you have time to finish it. Sh*t you not, right at this moment, THIS is what my office looks like:
I started that part of the project 4 weeks ago and my life has “gotten in the way” (which is code for I’d rather be playing tennis) ever since. It is so bad that I even missed paying the bill on renewing my law license because my brain was so cluttered and I thought I had paid it. That cost me $150 more than it needed to. F*&#!
And when you are finally done with your spring cleaning, DO NOT go into a toy store. For if you do, THIS is what most people will see
But you will see THIS
Moral of the story, it feels really cathartic to get rid of all this crap. Just make sure that you can finish what you start (or let’s rephrase – make sure you prioritize finishing what you start). I am strategically avoiding my office because of the nonsense up there. I think it’s making me very unproductive.
And, I’d be remiss if I didn’t share the resources that I found helpful:
2. My friend Crissy. Honest to goodness, she’s a magician with organization. She’s not actually “looking” for a job in this realm, but if you need someone to help you not only get your sh*t together but to also give you some amazing fashion advice, she’s your gal and I am happy to hook you up with her. 😉
Last, most important key; keep up with it. The minute you let things slide a little bit, you will slide into oblivion! Yea, THIS kind of oblivion!!! That’s MY sh*t. Can’t even blame the kids!!
Are you organized? What do you do to keep it that way? Do your regularly organize or just keep it up? Do you have a semiannual “dump” session? Please comment below and heeeeeeelp me!!
For more organizing and spring cleaning tips, check out www. Facebook.com/runamukmom.com
#springcleaning #organizing #chaos
In 2010 I was given the gift of answering to THREE bosses (aka my children), rather than continue to work full time outside the home. This site is about my journey of self discovery, and self deprecation as I realize I’m not smarter than a 5th grader. Enjoy the blogs and resources, share your stories with me, and check out my book. Hopefully at the end of the day you can laugh too (some days that’s all that keeps me from crying)!!
Type anything and hit 'Enter'