It’s the month of luck and leprechauns and all the other shenanigans we create primarily for our kids (and by the way, how hilarious is my kid that she was willing to get into a bucket for this photo. If she wasn’t yelling so loud and I wasn’t laughing so hard, I would have taken a photo of us trying to get that off her @$$)! As I went through this month thinking about luck and leprechauns and all the things we attribute to miracles and “magic”, I was reminded of a few things.
I have a best friend Molly. She is the “luckiest” person I’ve ever met – and not just because she’s my BFF.
If there’s a radio contest going on, don’t even bother calling – Molly will be caller number 9. If there are Disneyland tickets to win at the raffle for your kids’ school, don’t bother buying tickets – Molly will win. If you see Molly at a blackjack table – walk the other way! This woman has won everything from a trip to the Aulani in Hawaii to Rachel Platten tickets to Disneyland tickets to that time in 1994 when she went to an exclusive party with the Cast of Party of 5. And no, she hasn’t ever taken me to any of these events. I still haven’t forgiven her for taking her sister to the Party of 5 party. Best Friend Molly is lucky I found my Husband from Heaven because she really blew it for me and Scott Wolf by taking her sister to that party!!
Every time Molly wins something I say to her “How are you so lucky with these things”? Two answers:
1) I actually enter the contest!
2) I just believe I will win!!
There is never any doubt in her mind that she will win . . . ever.
Of course, with that whole raffle thing, she has a trick that she uses, but I have been threatened with death if I publicly reveal her secret – which, by the way, I’ve tried, to no avail. I think it’s because I’m missing the “I just believe I’ll win” fairy dust that she puts on those tickets. Either that or she goes in and steals out all the tickets that aren’t hers! 😉
Then I started thinking about everyday things and other people’s perception of “luck” and miracles, and I realized there is a common thread. For example:
1) Parking – Husband from Heaven’s entire family believes that they have parking karma. That man (and anyone in his family) can drive into a full parking lot and get an ideal spot because someone pulls out just as he pulls in. So I tried it – for two weeks, every time I was in a crowded parking lot I thought to myself “I will get an ideal spot right in the front row”. Sh*t you not, every single time!
2) Disease – there are countless examples of people curing everything from cancer to a yeast infection just by changing their perspective and focus. Thankfully, I don’t know anything first hand about cancer, but yeast infections . . . Well, husband from heaven is reading and we don’t want to embarrass him more than we already have, just trust me that I haven’t taken medication in years and it is not because I haven’t had ailments.
3) Relationships – And in particular those relationships where you feel like you’ve had deja vu, as in that feeling you get that you’ve “been there done that”, it’s just that the players in the play are different. Here’s what I mean – this last week I had an experience where I once again got sideways with someone I work for. Best friend Molly (and Husband from Heaven) will verify this has happened to me not one, not two, not three, not four, but at least five times (and let’s not even mention the PTO at my kids’ school – that’s a blog post in and of itself).
My friends and family will also verify that I have actively divorced not one, not two, but at least three very close friends. I didn’t just decide that I needed to turn on my heel and walk away from all these relationships – I engaged in active confrontation, told them exactly how I felt, no, I really mean unadulterated, unfiltered, EXACTLY, and THEN turned around and walked away.
In every instance I have justified and those around me have verified that the other person had fatal flaws and there was no way I could have succeeded in that environment and had to leave it. Of course, we did eventually get around to discussing MY fatal flaws too and just like anyone I beat myself up about it. Which brings us to why I wrote this post.
In every instance it was ugly and messy and I said things that to the outside world were offensive, condescending, and downright nasty. For me, they were unfiltered, unapologetic, honest, and all things that others (including me) had said behind that person’s back. . . In the exact words that we all used too. Of course, most people have the social skills and sense not to say anything, but to just disconnect. I’m not made of that stuff (much to my mother’s horror). And yes, you can give me the advice that I just can’t work FOR someone, and I need to have fewer friends, but, that will never stop these experiences from coming into my life. And, quite honestly, that’s not the answer because I have had wonderful bosses who I worked for that mentored me, encouraged me and were blunt and honest with me in helping me work through my flaws. To this day they are the ones I call when I f*&# up and they talk me through how to learn from it.
I’m not sorry and I do not regret any of those “break ups”. Ask BFF Molly and HfH, I don’t regret anything in my life, not even my royal f*&# ups. And, I am actually cordial, professional and kind to all of those people to this day. From every single breakup I have at least one gem that I carry into the next experience. Because deep down, there’s a reason that I thought they were amazing and wonderful people and wanted to have them in my life at one time. They are all good people, they just are not good FOR ME.
But why the f*#& do I keep doing this to myself?! I never knew . . . Until recently.
I haven’t learned the karmic lesson yet – I haven’t held my tongue, or found more compassionate ways to express myself, or quite frankly, to let NOT let those people into my life in the first place. I haven’t learned my lesson yet . . .
And that is when it dawned on me this is the common thread for everything in this post whether it’s parking karma, curing your ailments, or constantly having the same types of experiences with people . . . things do not happen by accident and our life doesn’t happen TO us, it happens BECAUSE of us.
Kinda like parenting – my kids yell at each other because I yell at them. I have not yet found a meditation tool strong enough (except the “I don’t give a shitter” tool that happens because I drank Skinny Girl that night) to help me change my behavior with my kids. But, I’m trying because I’m beginning to understand why certain people, things and experiences come into my life, and more importantly those that come to me over and over and over again.
Insanity = doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting a different result.
Or another favorite that HfH threw at me the other day “The common denominator in all your failures is you.”
And speaking of those who are brutally honest with me, I have to give credit for these epiphanies not only to BFF Molly and HfH, but also to my very dear friend Crissy and two incredible women who are amazing Lightworkers, Laura Van Tyne and Tina Erwin. Laura and Tina are the co-hosts of “The Karmic Path”, a podcast that comes out every Tuesday morning and addresses everything from abusive personalities to parking karma to the “comparison trap” and so much more that applies to our everyday lives. For those who know me best, Laura and Tina are my “psychic friends” and I cannot tell you how highly I recommend that you get their Karmic Path app or go to www.thekarmicpath.com. These podcasts came at just the right moment for me and now I look forward to every Tuesday. Tina has also written many books, articles, videos and much more on the karmic journey and how to make sense of it all. You can find her work at www.tinaerwin.com.
Time to stop the insanity. We don’t have charmed lives because of accidental luck. We have charmed lives because we believe in them and we create them within ourselves, our children and every relationship we go into (or come out of).
Do you have examples when “luck” hits you or do you feel “unlucky”? Looking forward to read your stories, let’s create our “luck” together. Check out www.facebook.com/runamukmom.com for more.
#luck, #runamukmom, #karma
In 2010 I was given the gift of answering to THREE bosses (aka my children), rather than continue to work full time outside the home. This site is about my journey of self discovery, and self deprecation as I realize I’m not smarter than a 5th grader. Enjoy the blogs and resources, share your stories with me, and check out my book. Hopefully at the end of the day you can laugh too (some days that’s all that keeps me from crying)!!
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